Valentines Day 2022
Cael: Shouldn't we clean up around here first? Halloween was months ago.
Drago: That's part of the point. We'll clean up the current mess, so we can then decorate for the new holiday.
Cael: You have no idea how little I want to do this.
Drago: I know Valentines is not the most exciting time of year, but let's make the best of it.
Cael: Actually my main objection is having to flip over each of these to the correct side.
Cael: How do you do, to you too.
Jeeves: You'll never learn, will you?
Drago: Well, I know the rent has been paid, so to what do we owe the honor?
Jeeves: I come bearing gifts. Surely my new vehicle has inspired you to see the forthcoming springtime in a renewed light.
Jeeves: And springtime means plushy cactuses, or cactii. I'm not sure. It's supposed to be soft, but my mind insists that it pricks me each time I touch it. I'm unsure what to make of it.
Cael: Well thank you for the gift. You can throw it in the corner. Sorry we didn't get you anything in return. We never gave it much thought.
Jeeves: That was hardly the entirety of my visit.
Jeeves: I'll expect this bag of candy, rebagged into smaller bags.
Jeeves: I shall return.
Hogbug: I do tire of looking at the same decor, month after month.
Hedgekin: A change then?
Hogbug: Sounds like a plan.
Hogbug: We're not going to eat this, are we?
Hedgekin: Course not. Never do.
Hedgekin: Fantastic! Can we use them for nefarious purposes?
Pumpathan: Let's hope so!
Big Pumpy: Ey, look what we got here.
Big Pumpy: It's that creature from America's Funniest People.
Sands O'Time: Doesn't ring a bell
Big Pumpy: Dave Coulier?
Sands O'Time: Nope. Nothing.
Big Pumpy: Cute anyway. Can we keep it?
Sands O'Time: Depends. Anything else show up?
Big Pumpy: Well, there's these things...
Cael: Why are we doing this? Isn't paying rent enough to stay here?
Drago: It's not that bad. Just shovel it in.
Cael: Easier said than done. We still have that pile left.
Drago: It never ends!
Big Pumpy: This isn't looking good. It's those conversation hearts, except they're huge!
Big Pumpy: And worse, it's zoomer speak. For Realz, No Cap.
Meow Mix: Bride, eh?
Meow Mix: Looks like your next two month's salary is spoken for.
Sands O'Time: Hugs, Love, Forever, LOL. None of these are any good.
Big Pumpy: Agreed. Why have you brought this curse upon us?
Drago: Got some bad news. We're about to have some DOTS PTSD.
Cael: FR, NC.
Cael: Found another disappointment too.
Cael: This box alludes that there is the new Cookie Crunch flavor, which in fairness is in there, but half the pack is the original.
CyberRaven: I'm sorry. We have a strict no more new birds policy.
CyberRaven: We hope you understand.
Cael: Annnnd done! Let's hope we never have to do that again.
Cael: Any reason you're still clutching the DOTS box?
Drago: I've grown accustomed to toxic relationships.
Cael: Speaking of...what's that?
Drago: Looks like someone took a few liberties with mythical creature tropes. Wings on a narwhal? Weird.
Cael: Er, what?
Drago: Huh, all the candy baggies are gone. Good riddance, I suppose.
On another note... Was wondering if we were swapping Valentines...you know in totally bro and not weird way.
Cael: FR, no cap. I got you this one. It was on sale.
Drago: That's unfortunate. I was hoping to go the gag-gift route.
Cael: I see.
Drago: And your opinion is...?
Cael: My opinion violates quite a few modern social standards, so please go find your wife before this gets even more uncomfortable.