Valentines Day 2022

Cael: Shouldn't we clean up around here first? Halloween was months ago.

Drago: That's part of the point. We'll clean up the current mess, so we can then decorate for the new holiday.

Cael: You have no idea how little I want to do this.

Drago: I know Valentines is not the most exciting time of year, but let's make the best of it.

Cael: Actually my main objection is having to flip over each of these to the correct side.

*Screech*

Cael: How do you do, to you too.

Jeeves: You'll never learn, will you?

Drago: Well, I know the rent has been paid, so to what do we owe the honor?

Jeeves: I come bearing gifts. Surely my new vehicle has inspired you to see the forthcoming springtime in a renewed light.

Jeeves: And springtime means plushy cactuses, or cactii. I'm not sure. It's supposed to be soft, but my mind insists that it pricks me each time I touch it. I'm unsure what to make of it.

Cael: Well thank you for the gift. You can throw it in the corner. Sorry we didn't get you anything in return. We never gave it much thought.

Jeeves: That was hardly the entirety of my visit.

Jeeves: I'll expect this bag of candy, rebagged into smaller bags.

Jeeves: I shall return.

Elsewhere

Hogbug: I do tire of looking at the same decor, month after month.

Hedgekin: A change then?

Hogbug: Sounds like a plan.

*poof*

Hogbug: We're not going to eat this, are we?

Hedgekin: Course not. Never do.

Pumpathan: Incoming!

...

Hedgekin: Fantastic! Can we use them for nefarious purposes?

Pumpathan: Let's hope so!

Elsewhere

Big Pumpy: Ey, look what we got here.

Big Pumpy: It's that creature from America's Funniest People.

Sands O'Time: Doesn't ring a bell

Big Pumpy: Dave Coulier?

Sands O'Time: Nope. Nothing.

Big Pumpy: Cute anyway. Can we keep it?

Sands O'Time: Depends. Anything else show up?

Big Pumpy: Well, there's these things...

Elsewhere

Cael: Why are we doing this? Isn't paying rent enough to stay here?

Drago: It's not that bad. Just shovel it in.

Cael: Easier said than done. We still have that pile left.

Drago: It never ends!

Elsewhere

Big Pumpy: This isn't looking good. It's those conversation hearts, except they're huge!

Big Pumpy: And worse, it's zoomer speak. For Realz, No Cap.

Meow Mix: Bride, eh?

Meow Mix: Looks like your next two month's salary is spoken for.

Sands O'Time: Hugs, Love, Forever, LOL. None of these are any good.

Big Pumpy: Agreed. Why have you brought this curse upon us?

Elsewhere

Drago: Got some bad news. We're about to have some DOTS PTSD.

Cael: FR, NC.

Drago: What?

Cael: Found another disappointment too.

Cael: This box alludes that there is the new Cookie Crunch flavor, which in fairness is in there, but half the pack is the original.

Elsewhere

CyberRaven: I'm sorry. We have a strict no more new birds policy.

CyberRaven: We hope you understand.

Elsewhere

Cael: Annnnd done! Let's hope we never have to do that again.

Cael: Any reason you're still clutching the DOTS box?

Drago: I've grown accustomed to toxic relationships.

Cael: Speaking of...what's that?

Drago: Looks like someone took a few liberties with mythical creature tropes. Wings on a narwhal? Weird.

Cael: Er, what?

Drago: Huh, all the candy baggies are gone. Good riddance, I suppose.

On another note... Was wondering if we were swapping Valentines...you know in totally bro and not weird way.

Cael: FR, no cap. I got you this one. It was on sale.

Drago: That's unfortunate. I was hoping to go the gag-gift route.

Cael: I see.

Drago: And your opinion is...?

Cael: My opinion violates quite a few modern social standards, so please go find your wife before this gets even more uncomfortable.