Well, they can't all be winners. I've had decent luck with the Halloween Whoppers in years past. The main gimmick is the food dyed bun, but usually there’s something else going on to justify the special edition. The original had A1 steak sauce in the bun, and enough coloring to make you go to the bathroom like a Canada Goose. Last year’s spooky Whopper had fried jalapenos, and the year before that combined a burger and chicken patty.

But not this time. We get a red bun, the same $10 price tag, and a solicitation to buy a shake. The color is nice and all, but it was quite possible the worst burger I’ve ever had. I know fast food doesn’t set a high standard, hence why I abstain from it as a rule, but this was bone dry and tough. I’m guess very few sold and it had been sitting out on a shelf for weeks. That’s the only way I can explain just how much like cardboard it was. Here’s hoping that October brings us something better.